Dolmena (dolmena) wrote in pagan_marriage,
Dolmena
dolmena
pagan_marriage

Suggestions for Cord, inclusion of step-parents

My step-daughter is having an eclectic wedding, with a ritual that's very like a handfasting cord-binding at the center of it, followed by the lighting of oil candles by the couple, and then by family members.

She has sent us the ceremony script, and asked for advice on 2 areas:

1) the cord or ribbons: I have suggested asking her sister to weave a cord (she has a Renaissance-era device for making laces, and is very deft with it; also, the bride and her sister are very close.) We've suggested that it be at least 39 inches, in light of our own experience in finding that 36 inches can become far too little to wrap properly, especially after attempts to bind the cord have made it shorter.

2) how to include step-parents in a special way: both the groom and the bride have 2 step-parents or equivalent people, whom the bride wishes to honor in some way, but she isn't sure how to include us. I have suggested that just including us in the "family" part of ceremony, where family stand and light candles symbolizing our support of their marriage is enough, and that perhaps she should draft us for tasks such as standing in the receiving line next to our partners, if she has a receiving line.... does anything else come to mind as appropriate? One problem is that the other step-mother is somewhat unreliable, and may decide not to show up, to run off, etc.

Note she and her beloved did not ask us for advice on the way the wedding is set up, so I don't have any control over the big picture. (I'm just trying to figure out a dress that fits in with what others are wearing...)
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